I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
