I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
