Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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