like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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