you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
