I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
