You really coming over, don't trick.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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