I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
