When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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