Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
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He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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