i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
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Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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