My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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