I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
one might say we're banned from that church
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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