This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
