U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She announced her abortion via fbk
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
