Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
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