There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize