Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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