I'd wear matching sweaters with you
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize