you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
