Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
