Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
