Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
