You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
