omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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