he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
