i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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