K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize