I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
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