I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
