it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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