just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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