I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
