i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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