You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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