Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
im calling her cock vulture from now on
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
