Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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