So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
