you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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