He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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