There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
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Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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