His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
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And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize