can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
When did angry sex become our thing?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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