Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
