I think I am morally bankrupt
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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