i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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