So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
