so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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