new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
