i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
