One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
