Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I think I just sharted jello shots
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
