Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
